i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
