His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
