you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
