it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
