I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
