Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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