can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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