wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
