yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
