using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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