Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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