Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize