I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
found the other keg... it's in the tree
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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