That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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