Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just tell him i said nine months
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
