i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
