Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Barsexuality is the new black.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize