doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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