He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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