I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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