I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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