Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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