The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
