So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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