you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
