his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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