You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
