Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
