I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
