I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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