I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I could make wine with my vomit
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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