I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
