whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
