Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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