Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
