This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
