I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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