Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize