Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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