I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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