Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
