I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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