just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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