Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
