Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
