you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
nutella sex= disaster
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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