someone get that fucking seahorse.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
