Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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