shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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