I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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