I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize