Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
