no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It was confusing and full of hummus
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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