sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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