there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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