Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
