I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
