what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
