dude i'm inner monologue high
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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