You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize