honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
